Together with wellness coach Charlène Gisèle Bourliout, we discuss what we can do to tackle this growing crisis of confidence.
You have previously spoken of a ‘crisis of confidence’ in the legal profession. Can you tell us more about this?
The crisis of confidence is currently one of the most recognized problems in the legal profession. It first became apparent when I coached legal professionals to overcome burnout. I began to see similarities in the concerns my clients told me, all of which centered on a loss or erosion of inner confidence coupled with heightened performance anxiety. Once I addressed the concerns of burnout, the next hurdle for my clients to achieve peak personal and professional performance was to address their “crisis of confidence.”
The crisis of confidence can be challenging to recognize because so many who suffer from it are successful outwardly but go through a confidence crisis on the inside, often feeling alone and quite lonely or even ’embarrassed to admit it’ as they go through it. In recent years, the problems have also worsened as many feel more isolated from their peers and navigate through more uncertain times than ever.
Their meaningful networks that would previously provide feedback are shrinking. Growing distance between colleagues creates an environment where lawyers aren’t sure they’re making the right decisions, which has only gotten worse with The Great Resignation, leading to exhausted teams. Many legal professionals go out of their way to maintain balance and composure from the outside, but are faced internally with a negative dialogue of worry, self-doubt, and even frequent ‘imposter syndrome’.
How can a lack of trust manifest itself in a lawyer and affect their work?
One of the most common times when a crisis of trust manifests itself in a lawyer’s career is when senior associates find themselves on the trail of a partnership. Their concerns and doubts arise as to whether or not they will make it as a partner. They begin to ask themselves questions such as, “Am I justified as a lawyer?”; “If no partner, then what?”; “Have I wasted years of my life?”
The worry and stigma associated with what their careers will look like if they are “stuck forever” as a senior employee is causing their crisis of confidence and affecting their job performance.
The stigma around not entering into or taking a partnership also affects trust. It is quite common that during a senior employee appraisal process, if the employee being assessed is asked if they want to make it through the partnership and answers ‘no’, the employee in question will begin to doubt or even begin to question career progression within the company. doubt and completely rethink their career in law. When this is the case, the crisis of confidence sets in, faced with the uncertainty of the future of their careers and what they will do when they leave the law.
The crisis of confidence is currently one of the most recognized problems in the legal profession.
Another area that erodes a lawyer’s confidence is compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue arises from empathic involvement with their clients. This especially affects employees, as their proximity to customers leads them to open their hearts and minds to the difficult times their customers are going through. As a result, there is an emotional cost associated with caring for their clients, which increases their worry and self-doubt.
Another way I see a lack of trust among lawyers is among senior partners who recognize that they may be somewhat “institutionalized” within the firm. While they are deeply committed to the firm in question, their self-esteem outside the firm can gradually fade, leading them to question their identity outside the legal world. While these are undoubtedly some of the most talented, outstanding senior leaders, I have found in coaching them on a 1:1 basis that their lack of confidence comes when their identity is tied solely to being a partner at a law firm .
The concern I hear from senior partners is the fear that, if they retire or move, they could lose the validation and social standing of their leadership position. Their sense of identity and trust is completely tied to being a partner and with a company. Many senior partners feel confident that they have neglected other aspects of their lives, such as passions or family, and begin to fear for retirement, creating a crisis as they may feel trapped and lack the confidence to make the transition to a change career or retire. .
There are other reasons why trust crises can also be serious in senior partners, another performance wellness area that doesn’t get much attention. For example, many of my senior partner clients say it’s “pretty lonely at the top.” Senior partner does not receive the guidance and sponsorship that interns, employees and junior partners receive. Once you are at the peak of your career, who is your sponsor? Who is your mentor? A senior partner is a sponsor and mentor to everyone, but few are to potential partners.
This kind of isolation as a leader can affect confidence. For example, with whom can a leader be vulnerable? Who cancels the leader? Colleagues are often hesitant to criticize their senior partner for fear of reprisal. Who does the leader lean on? As a senior partner said to me: “Every close relationship has me as a supportive person; who do I rely on?”
Why is this problem particularly serious for senior employees as opposed to lawyers in other positions?
A crisis of confidence is particularly serious for senior employees because they are on the partnership path. Many senior employees feel that they are in a two-year application process. A client of mine told me that the partnership journey is like being constantly monitored for two years. Not only do they have to perform well and meet and exceed their billed hours, but they also have to compete with their peers and impress other partners. Every day their confidence is tested and that can feel presumptuous to their self-esteem.
A senior partner is a sponsor and mentor to everyone, but few are to partners.
It’s also the time in a lawyer’s career where I most often see burnout. When a senior associate enters the partnership, although it is a huge and remarkable achievement, it can also cause intense performance anxiety as the senior associate becomes the most ‘junior’ member of the partnership when, just months or weeks before, they were the oldest member of the associated group. This transition can be particularly challenging in keeping inner confidence high and fear of failure at bay.
What are your go-to methods for addressing a lack of confidence in the attorneys you work with?
When a confidence crisis hits, the best step to addressing a lack of confidence is to first assess the root cause or causes – a deep dive into someone’s confidence story is what I do to see what has eroded that confidence.
In my experience coaching leading attorneys, whether on a 1:1 basis or in a group or workshop setting, there’s always a point where trust went the other way. The goal is to locate the catalyst event that had a subsequent ripple effect and then deal with the situation, resolve the unrealistic views and build a realistic picture of the lawyer’s strengths and weaknesses. This is most powerfully done through personalized trust intervention and a personalized toolkit that they use daily to build their trust story.
What is a ‘trust box’ and how can it promote the well-being of a lawyer?
A trust box is an effective exercise to build a lawyer’s self-esteem. The tool starts by checking all your previous experiences where you passed and received positive feedback. You then create a file and save all your success moments and feedback there.
Whenever you feel a crisis of confidence coming on or doubt yourself, review your trust file and remind yourself of your good work. The file aims to use external feedback to stimulate an internal shift in feelings of trust. To make the internal shift, you’ll want to practice your success moves daily by reading and visualizing them.
Besides validation by others, what are some effective methods a lawyer can use to build their own self-esteem?
Building your self-esteem isn’t about reaching a point where your confidence is 100% every day. Nor is it about expecting to overcome a crisis of confidence in one day. Building your self-esteem is something you do infrequently and often every day by taking deliberate self-esteem-boosting actions that are consistent with your goals and values.
Another effective method for lawyers to build their self-esteem is a mindset shift around what trust is. In my coaching experience, I’ve had many clients whose confidence crises took the form of imposter syndrome and who are sensitive to the stigma surrounding trust. Overcoming the stigma associated with trust is paramount to building a self-esteem that will drive advocates to achieve their goals.
Self-confidence is not arrogance, narcissism, or being someone who can speak about everyone else. Having confidence in ourselves makes us less self-centered because we are more open to feedback without getting defensive. Confidence does not mean that you are invincible and will never fail again. Self-confidence does not mean that you will always be in a positive state or that you will not experience fear or self-doubt.
By building your confidence, you know that you can deal with negative feelings, overcome the obstacles in your way, and achieve your goals. Confidence doesn’t come overnight; Confidence is something you build through actions and reflection over time.
If you’re starting out with low confidence, seeking outside help with 1:1 coaching is a great way to jump-start your confidence transformation. I have also set up a ‘Strengthen Your Inner Confidence’ workshop which has been hugely successful as part of a leadership or partner development program. After implementing performance coaching, employees reported feeling better equipped with empowering tools and strategies to navigate the partnership journey successfully and felt they had a safe outlet to address their wellbeing and performance issues – while before they kept their stress bottled up, causing worry and self-doubt.
Charlene Gisele Bourliout
Charlene Gisele Bourliout is a health coach, wellness consultant and burnout prevention consultant referred to as the “Soulicitor” by her clients. Charlène, a former London lawyer, coaches her clients on personal and professional life optimization through a combination of high-performance coaching, burnout prevention and mindset optimization.